Ramblings, Incoherent Thought and Family

I know we're in an oil hurt right now...I KNOW it's not a great thing...but BP SCREWED up...and we're paying for it. I'm sorry to say this...but our environmental president isn't doing his job. I realize that I'm gonna anger BOTH republicans and democrats here (one by saying that a business investment should take a back seat to an environmental catastrophe like this, and the dems by saying Almighty Obama should have shut this down long ago)...but frankly we've given BP three weeks to clean up their mess. At some point when you're a kid...and your Mom insists you clean your room but you don't...and the smell starts wafting down the hall...and the bugs arrive to say hello and start seeking more filth in other rooms...eventually your Mom goes in (begrudgingly) and begins to clean up your mess. I don't know about you...but in those cases...when my Mom did that she would pick things I enjoyed but weren't necessary to 'throw out'...saying ...

Dear Will (Or whatever you're calling yourself these days); I'm writing this after writing a posthumous letter to myself 20 years ago...in anticipation of yet another letter I can write to myself in ten years addressing THIS one...it's like a virtual time capsule. Go with it. Anyway...I hope that this letter finds you well. I'm writing really to give you an idea and perspective on your life and where it's been since I have little doubt you'll be full bore into your (probably third) mid-life crisis. :) It's my hope that ministry has taken the place of everything else in your life as far as career and professional goals. Looking back from this point I can see where God has used the pain I endured to prepare me for that life. I'm hoping that I don't do something ridiculously stupid to screw it up for you. If you are in ministry...then I hope your heart is still strong. If not...then stop. Look around you and realize your life's work has TRULY begun....

I found an old book of poems I started back in HIGH SCHOOL. A lot of it is super-emo stuff...but it gives a good idea as to what was on my heart and mind back then...the below is the letter I would write to myself back then were he able to read it...I'm writing to myself at the age of 16 on May 7, 1990. I'm a sophomore in High School.: Dear Billy; By the time this is written...you'll have been gone for some time. I don't know when or how you went...but it was a slow and painful process. Sorry about that. Some say it might have started that first January day you stepped onto Oswego's campus...for others it was when you shared that first kiss with your first REAL love. For some they'll say it's when you had your first taste of a Sam Adam's Boston Lager. I think though...your demise started on a cold winter's night in Oswego. The fact is though...you're gone now...and I have been tasked with succeeding you. My name is Will...and I guess I came into ...

It's gonna be a weird weekend. I'm excited in some ways. Seeing old friends...making new ones (like I did last night)...being in the old school (that I was really only in 1 year being the first class to graduate from there) on that old stage. To look out on that crowd like I used to and in that moment...remember when it was all I wanted to do in the world. This weekend is a reunion show of the Academy Players. The drama team from my high school. They're doing it because it's the 20th year that Mr. Schaumann has directed there and...well that does deserve SOME sort of pomp. They decided to call any and all players back to be a part of this year's musical (Les Miz). It's a true honor to be there...and when I heard about it there was NO WAY I wasn't doing it. I've written before about how I feel about High School in here. How I see that time as sort of this awkward phase in my life. How I've gone to a few 'pseudo' reunions with various groups...

Change... It's as inevitible as taxes, and sometimes just as feared. So far for me 2010 has been about change. Granted I started the ball rolling with the whole weight loss kick I'm on (which has taken a bit of a back seat in recent weeks due to Grammy and now the meeing this week)...but almost since the new year began...I've been dealing with changes. At no time in my life can I remember so many things being so on the cusp of changing. From losing my final (blood) Grandparent...to the big move to a new town...to beginning to feel like I can do MORE...it's a bit disconcerting to be sure. Ok maybe disconcerting isn't the right word...but definitely one of those things that you can see coming and the idea of it causes you to wonder how it's all gonna come out. Ya know...I'm fairly easy-going. Like my father; there isn't terribly much in my life that can 'set me off'. That isn't to say I don't care about anything...but that there's v...

I sit here tonight in my office...surrounded by boxes with most of my stuff from this small room in it...and I find myself feeling the need to write. Gram's gone...and tomorrow we start the process of saying Goodbye. It's not a subject I'm terribly good at. Saying 'see ya later' or 'have a good one'...I'm fine with. The thought that I'll be seeing that person again...intending to at that moment wish the other person farewell...with every intention of picking up where we left off...even if we never see each other for years (if at all)...I'm good at that. I have experience with. One of my best friends in the world (next to Deb) I didn't speak to regularly for almost 10 years...even through email...yet when I saw her two years ago at a college reunion it was like we never were apart. We caught up, and then just continued conversations that were left dormant for 10 years. To this day she and I speak semi-regularly and my wife ADORES her. T...

We've had her for 29 years. I keep finding myself saying that...either audibly or to myself. We've had her for 29 years. It's astounding to think about it...29 years have passed since we lost Grandpa Benson and my Grandmother has been alive without him. She remarried around the 10 year mark...to a great guy (whom I call Grandpa Carl), but she beat the odds. A lot of people say that wives tend to outlive their husbands and if they do they can be VERY productive. That's true in the way I see it around me. My wife's paternal grandmother has lasted a very long time herself...same with Gramma next door (this little italian lady who lived next door to me when we were growing up...we called her grandma next door cause...ya know...she was a Grandma's age and...well...she lived next door.). My Grandmother had an entire lifetime of life without her partner...and that's a true feat. She's sick now. Today they move her back to the home and put her on hospice......