A letter to the 46 year old me...
Dear Will (Or whatever you're calling yourself these days);
I'm writing this after writing a posthumous letter to myself 20 years ago...in anticipation of yet another letter I can write to myself in ten years addressing THIS one...it's like a virtual time capsule. Go with it.
Anyway...I hope that this letter finds you well. I'm writing really to give you an idea and perspective on your life and where it's been since I have little doubt you'll be full bore into your (probably third) mid-life crisis. :)
It's my hope that ministry has taken the place of everything else in your life as far as career and professional goals. Looking back from this point I can see where God has used the pain I endured to prepare me for that life. I'm hoping that I don't do something ridiculously stupid to screw it up for you. If you are in ministry...then I hope your heart is still strong. If not...then stop. Look around you and realize your life's work has TRULY begun...and you're making a difference that will outlive you. Be emboldened that this is the path that has been laid for you and it's a righteous desire. Stick close to the team of people around you and continue your growth in Him and for Him.
It's also my hope that you've learned what it is to be a good man. A loving husband and a true friend to those around you. You've been blessed with an uncanny ability to be frank and open with people...and while that turns a LOT of people off at first...hopefully you've lessened that 'warm-up' time that a lot of your friends seem to need right now to BECOME your friend. At this point in my life I still sometimes enjoy the look on some people's faces when I realize they just don't get me...but I know that those looks MUST die. SO hopefully...you're much more mature and kinder than I am...and not as afraid as I can be to be real (and not the real I present to people as real to keep them from knowing the inner me...I mean TRULY real and honest.). Hopefully you've begun to let people see the inner you...the one that still hurts at the site of a hurt person...or feels every jab of a joke directed at you. Hopefully you've begun the process of earning the respect that I desire from my colleagues that I seem to lose when I'm in a place of 'nuttiness'.
Finally Will...hopefully you're a Dad by now. Having a kid is something we always took for granted as something that would happen in due time. As you remember no doubt though...things aren't that easy for us...and we need to look at options. I'm hoping that by the time you read this in 2020...that you're son or daughter will be in the fourth or fifth grade...and you and Deb are the parents you always thought you could be. If so...then remember the example you got from your Dad's...both your father and Father. Be firm...but gentle. Be available. Be FUN! If it's a boy...as he gets older you need to fight the urge to say 'that's my boy' when he does something stupid that you were too nerdy to NOT do at his age. Remember...you wore a styrofoam Green Lantern Ring to Junior High once...you were NEVER cool. Use your experiences as a child to help your kid learn that school isn't the be all and end all of existence. There's life after. IF they screw it up...aren't the most popular kid...get picked on or even hurt...that it's all temporary. Let your kid(s) be the person they are...but bring them up in the way of God. Look to the Word for instructions on parenting and grow them to love God as you do...so that when they're old enough to decide for themselves...they're informed of what's at stake. Your heart's desire at this point in life is to be a Dad Will...but it is probably the FIRST thing you've REALLY had to work for in your life. I don't have to tell you how easy you've had it. You've been blessed so many ways...that at times while it seemed hard...in hindsight you see how easy some things came. To be a Dad...it may mean you have to inconvenience yourself. Spend some money maybe...see a Doctor perhaps. Hardest thing of all...realize that MAYBE you don't know it all. If you don't have a kid...then Will...you need to realize that you may not have really wanted it. It's out there for you...but you need to DO something to get it. So it's my hope you followed through...and our kid is thriving now.
In any event...You're older now. Take a look around you and enjoy it. Hopefully your parents are alive and well...and you're a great uncle to both Billys, Brookie, and Megpie (even though I have no doubt she hates you calling her Megpie...remember...you were the first man beyond her Daddy and doctor to hold her so you got dibs)...I hope you're continuing to write...and that your longtime friends are still nearby. Most of all...go over and kiss your wife. Remember all that you two have been through. Give her a hug and while I have no doubt you still say I love you when you want to hear yourself talk as a way of showing her love...make sure you DO something too.
Also...if the flying car has been invented...make sure you get one with a moon roof. YOU LOVE YOUR MOON ROOF!
Thanks for reading.
I'm writing this after writing a posthumous letter to myself 20 years ago...in anticipation of yet another letter I can write to myself in ten years addressing THIS one...it's like a virtual time capsule. Go with it.
Anyway...I hope that this letter finds you well. I'm writing really to give you an idea and perspective on your life and where it's been since I have little doubt you'll be full bore into your (probably third) mid-life crisis. :)
It's my hope that ministry has taken the place of everything else in your life as far as career and professional goals. Looking back from this point I can see where God has used the pain I endured to prepare me for that life. I'm hoping that I don't do something ridiculously stupid to screw it up for you. If you are in ministry...then I hope your heart is still strong. If not...then stop. Look around you and realize your life's work has TRULY begun...and you're making a difference that will outlive you. Be emboldened that this is the path that has been laid for you and it's a righteous desire. Stick close to the team of people around you and continue your growth in Him and for Him.
It's also my hope that you've learned what it is to be a good man. A loving husband and a true friend to those around you. You've been blessed with an uncanny ability to be frank and open with people...and while that turns a LOT of people off at first...hopefully you've lessened that 'warm-up' time that a lot of your friends seem to need right now to BECOME your friend. At this point in my life I still sometimes enjoy the look on some people's faces when I realize they just don't get me...but I know that those looks MUST die. SO hopefully...you're much more mature and kinder than I am...and not as afraid as I can be to be real (and not the real I present to people as real to keep them from knowing the inner me...I mean TRULY real and honest.). Hopefully you've begun to let people see the inner you...the one that still hurts at the site of a hurt person...or feels every jab of a joke directed at you. Hopefully you've begun the process of earning the respect that I desire from my colleagues that I seem to lose when I'm in a place of 'nuttiness'.
Finally Will...hopefully you're a Dad by now. Having a kid is something we always took for granted as something that would happen in due time. As you remember no doubt though...things aren't that easy for us...and we need to look at options. I'm hoping that by the time you read this in 2020...that you're son or daughter will be in the fourth or fifth grade...and you and Deb are the parents you always thought you could be. If so...then remember the example you got from your Dad's...both your father and Father. Be firm...but gentle. Be available. Be FUN! If it's a boy...as he gets older you need to fight the urge to say 'that's my boy' when he does something stupid that you were too nerdy to NOT do at his age. Remember...you wore a styrofoam Green Lantern Ring to Junior High once...you were NEVER cool. Use your experiences as a child to help your kid learn that school isn't the be all and end all of existence. There's life after. IF they screw it up...aren't the most popular kid...get picked on or even hurt...that it's all temporary. Let your kid(s) be the person they are...but bring them up in the way of God. Look to the Word for instructions on parenting and grow them to love God as you do...so that when they're old enough to decide for themselves...they're informed of what's at stake. Your heart's desire at this point in life is to be a Dad Will...but it is probably the FIRST thing you've REALLY had to work for in your life. I don't have to tell you how easy you've had it. You've been blessed so many ways...that at times while it seemed hard...in hindsight you see how easy some things came. To be a Dad...it may mean you have to inconvenience yourself. Spend some money maybe...see a Doctor perhaps. Hardest thing of all...realize that MAYBE you don't know it all. If you don't have a kid...then Will...you need to realize that you may not have really wanted it. It's out there for you...but you need to DO something to get it. So it's my hope you followed through...and our kid is thriving now.
In any event...You're older now. Take a look around you and enjoy it. Hopefully your parents are alive and well...and you're a great uncle to both Billys, Brookie, and Megpie (even though I have no doubt she hates you calling her Megpie...remember...you were the first man beyond her Daddy and doctor to hold her so you got dibs)...I hope you're continuing to write...and that your longtime friends are still nearby. Most of all...go over and kiss your wife. Remember all that you two have been through. Give her a hug and while I have no doubt you still say I love you when you want to hear yourself talk as a way of showing her love...make sure you DO something too.
Also...if the flying car has been invented...make sure you get one with a moon roof. YOU LOVE YOUR MOON ROOF!
Thanks for reading.
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