Ramblings, Incoherent Thought and Family

I was going to start this with a take on the Barenaked Ladies tune “One Week”…and then realized that while my tongue-in-cheek humor serves me well in times of extreme stress and anxiety…that there are times when it’s ok to FEEL the pain and the hurt and that there is value in it (with conditions)…so instead I open with this thought…   God I miss you Mom.   This past year…what a whirlwind. Every day seemed to stretch and fly at the same time like the space/time continuum was thumbing its nose at us.     Her death at 11:04 seemed to be a watershed moment for me and mine.   Like the night of February 11, 2012 for me…2/16/02, 1/19/1991 and others.   A day I’ll remember always…that was normal until something extraordinary occurred that would forever shape the days that followed.   I’m changed of course by it…and comforted by it.   I look at the recent events surrounding the death of Robin Williams...and how his children are fe...

We’d gotten the call.   After a rough pregnancy…my sister was going to deliver.     My wife at the time and I got into our car with directions on how to get to Syracuse’s hospital…and we were off.   We arrived and Mom and Dad were there along with Aunt Shirley.   The worry was evident on Mom’s face.   She’d been into see her.   My sister had had a ROUGH time.   Bloodtype mismatch, many false contractions, general moodiness (that appears to be the only holdover from the pregnancy that never left) and it was all coming to this.   The name had been picked…and so it was time.     Today was the day William Edward Lisk was to be born.   To this point…it had seemed like this branch of the Benson tree was going to not branch.   It’d been discovered a year earlier…that I was unable to father a baby through some medical jargon that was too hard for me to hear the first time…let alone rehash in writing.   S...

It was a Sunday morning.  I affected my fake Irish accent (quite well I might add) and spent the day saying 'Top o' da mornin'.  Darby O'Gill was on and I was watching it with Mom before we decided we had to get out to Betty's. So we did.  We drove out there and had a great day.  We were going to celebrate Mom's birthday...her 66th.  It was a nice day to go.  Not a lot of snow. It was also the day I'd rediscover KFC.  See...for 12 years in a show of solidarity to Debi...I'd vowed not to eat KFC as she asked me to.  I'm sure there's some humanitarian, ASPCA type reason for it...probably because they do genetic alteration to make each piece of chicken taste like a slice of heaven.  I don't know...but I do know that on this day my Dad introduced me to the KFC bowl and well...I fell in love.  How can any man resist boneless chicken, mashed potatoes, corn and gravy all mixed together.  It's like 4 great tastes that = awesome.  I...

It’s not often I get political here in my blog. In fact if you were to read it I suspect you’d find me to be pretty self-absorbed. I do that because to me sometimes…blogging is a form of therapy and a way to get my thoughts out for me to read later…publicly…ok…maybe I need to rethink this. Anyway…I’m led now to wax political. This post could offend some, not offend others and make others WISH that I was offended. What follows is my 100% opinion. I will say that publishing it could cause me to lose my standing in any organization I belong to and I do it knowingly. I write this because…frankly…I’m annoyed at the backlash and hand wringing going on around something that BOTH parties manipulated into being. I’ve followed the trials and tribulations of the latest public Christian to be ‘crucified’ by the media ‘elite’ of this country with some interest. Phil Robertson is an honest, no holds barred Christian man with (in my opinion) an incredibly sound doctrinal belief in the ...

Its November...the week of Thanksgiving. With each day we get closer to the holidays...and while I was doing 'ok' for awhile with the loss of my Mom (As much as one CAN be anyway...) I find myself thinking more and more about what the coming days will bring and mean. If anyone had a reason NOT to be thankful for the events of the past year...(hell the past two)...it'd be me. I've lost the two most important women in my family in the past 730 days. I've been between four jobs...and had countless heartbreaks pains and hurts. I've seen my family go through similar traumas...cousins dealing with things NOONE should have to deal with, aunts and uncles get sick. My father dealing with the single greatest pain I think he'll ever face (I hope)...there's SO much to be miserable about. And yet... I'm not. Not in the slightest. I'm still thanking God...I'm still thankful for this great life. That he took time at some point just about 40 years ag...

I had come home from my first day in a retail job. I was sad...miserable. I had just moved home from my own apartment...moving back in with my parents when I'm 38 years old. I was going through a separation from my wife...I was as low as could be. Self respect was something I used to envision as a goal to be aspire to achieve again because I hadn't had it in what felt like forever. However it was November 11. Not only that...but November 11, 2012. 40 years after Mom and Dad had said vows to each other becoming the one unit that contained the TWO most important people of my life. This was a day of celebration. I came home from work resigned to smiling and celebrating. They were going to go to a nice dinner. They'd rejected invitations from sisters and brothers, my sister, even me to go to dinner with them and they said repeatedly that they wanted to go to dinner alone as a couple that night. I was excited for them...but as this was my literal first day working fo...

Dear Mommy; It's hard to believe it's been over 2 months since you had to go. It's been a major adjustment for us all...even though for three out of the four months before you left...you weren't at home. That last month though...man did we live. It was a great moment made up of many great moments. I'm beyond thankful you were here for that. You're still missed. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't enter my thoughts or your name doesn't come out of my lips. Dad and I are slowly making progress on the apartment. He cleaned a lot of your room yesterday...reorganized the closet you shared and I think it gave him some peace. He got a new chair...and it's really nice. He's hurting deep still though...(as we all are)...and that's obvious. He's not overwhelmingly 'emo'...but there's a pain behind his eyes. He misses his partner...and in some ways his brain. He's not sure yet which way he wants to go with ...