Follow up to '20 years ago'.

It's weird. Writing about that night was cathartic for me in so many ways...thank you for all the kind words.

I rarely do 'follow-ups'...but today I had to...because

Last night I got a chance to talk to Gram...

Now I'm not crazy and I know now it was a dream of course...but it felt so real last night...

The dream was structured like this...I was at Grandma's old house for some reason and the family was there and we were discussing Grandma when someone said that she was ok. It appears the last 20 years was a mistake on our parts. She was only 'Mostly dead' or something like that...and the doctors managed to revive her. She was still bed-ridden...but she was back. It was seriously like something out of some cheesy soap opera or something.

It was surreal to be sure and USUALLY in these types of things I know I'm dreaming...but last night I went with it. I found myself just sitting and talking with her. The family were all running around and doing things and I found myself just sitting there. We joked as we looked for some Football to watch (she wanted the Bills...but all I could find were the Dolphins playing the Lions (and they were losing)) and I joked about that as I was apparently wearing my Dolphins sweater. I told her all about Debi and how we met...how Nathan had turned his life around...how Steve and I became real close after she was gone...about Dawn and Matt having a baby just over a year ago...Betty being a Mom to two great kids...etc. It was a normal visit...and when my eyes popped open at 7:30 (cause they always do)...there was more than one tear in my eye.

I know it's my own brain making these things happen...I often can tell I'm dreaming and so tend to apply that to whatever dream I'm having. I'm in the dream and go with it (as I did earlier in the night with a dream about a leadership retreat we were having in Canandaigua...I knew it was a dream but just went with it). Just this morning when I woke up I felt a combination of blessed and sad again. Blessed because occasionally I end up having these dreams every now and again and they always catch me off guard...and it's ALMOST like having 'one more day with her'...but sad because when I wake up she's gone again.

I guess it's a good thing overall. My brain seems to know when I could use a little "Grammy time" and makes it happen. Or it could be a blessing from God (there is evidence in the Word of Him talking to people through their dreams). Either way...I'm thankful...but today it's one of those days I feel her absence a little more.

Thanks for reading...

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