Ramblings, Incoherent Thought and Family

My Mom has cancer. Such a weird thing to type...weird thing to think.  Hell...weird to even comprehend. As a kid...our mothers are almost always our first super hero.  No matter how much they annoy us...how they look at us when we play...chase us down the street trying to get us home.  Try to keep us from having our 'fun'...when the fit hits the shan...our mommies are the first ones we look for in times of distress.  Especially boys.  It's a fact of life...that as children of SOMEONE...on the most BASIC of levels...we exist REALLY to outlive our parents.  To be the legacy...to go on as our parents are mortal...just as our children are to go on for us since we are too.  On a cerebral level...I totally get it. Yet...now that it's hitting close to home I find myself feeling like an 8 year old boy who scraped his knee on the ground trying like hell to get home to have Mommy kiss it...only to find she's not there.  Losing a parent is a...

I won't lie...it hasn't been a great year for me. On Monday it was one year (though I actually marked it Saturday as THAT was the day (the Saturday after Thanksgiving)) that Deb sat me down and for the first time told me she was unhappy.  I remember vividly the day...the conversation and the fallout.  It started what I've come to refer to as (hey I do dig Star Trek Voyager) my 'Year of Hell'...the year where I have basically been reset. I'd love to say it's been easy and dandy but it really hasn't. Since I've written last...I've moved into my new apartment...then lost my job...almost restored but then fully lost my marriage, financially tanked and then recently lost my apartment and up and QUIT the job I got two months ago.  I'm now living with my parents in Fairport and working in retail again.  I've reset not to 'pre-Deb' Will...but actually 1998 Will.  It's somewhat surreal for me in a lot of ways. Last Wednesday ...

Thank you for your reading...and support. However at this time I've hid the posts...and have decided to take things a little more private. To say this is the hardest time of my life is not enough.  I didn't know what else to do...so I shared openly and shouted from the rooftops...only I didn't think how that could be misinterpreted and whom it may hurt. So while the posts still exist as a personal chronicle...I've hidden them for now.   I'm sure I'm not CLOSE to through this yet...and I'm sure I'll write more in time...but for now...I'm gonna go dark. Thanks for reading;

Friends...and what it means to have them...   Growing up I found myself ALWAYS obsessed with friendships...making them...and at times...using them for my own amusement.   I remember this one friend...who's name I CAN'T remember.  When we were kids my sister and I would go up to the Wood Library everyday after school.  I forget WHY we did it...but if I remember correctly it had something to do with my Mom working nights and so we'd go there till Dad would drive by and pick us up...and take us home for dinner around 4:00.   One day...we saw that there was a neighbor NEXT DOOR to the library...and he had this KICKING playground set...with a 'treehouse' of sorts and other stuff.  Oh man did I want to play in that...So...I decided "Ok...I need to make friends with this kid so that I can play with his toys and thereby make them (by extension) my own.".  So I went over with my sister and we did make friends with them.  I'll admit I don't think we ...

Sinuses...   Boy sinus pain SUX!  That is all.  

Happy New Year to All! First let me say...that if you're reading this it's probably because you're a friend or family member whom I love and value. If you're not...then frankly it's my hope that after reading the words I've written through this blog the last few years...you may GET to know me...so let me say the following. The person I am today is not a result of any one man, woman or person in my life. You could say it's the result of God...and that is CERTAINLY true...but I'm the whole of the sum of YOUR parts. My whole life has been made up of people...people whom I've loved, wanted to love, or wanted to love me. If you're someone who feels that maybe I'm a jerk, or don't like you or feel that I"m not worth the time...that's fine too. My life is made up of the people I've been blessed to know. I wouldn't change a thing. But change...is what today's entry is about. As most are want to do at this time of y...

So this is it. It's the eve of my last day working from home for UniteU. Tomorrow at 2:00 I go and meet my COO for my exit interview..turn in my keys and badge and stun gun and call it a day. Yet tonight...I'm a bit fearful. Throughout my 15 year career...I've had jobs and opportunities. I started out falling into computers once I realized that retail was NOT my calling. I believe God Himself gave me the talent for this. In the last 15 years I've learned more by trial and error than by book learnin'. When I married Deb...I started at a job where I worked for 16 months...and I remember being amazed by that. Then I had to kinda fart around till I fell into 5LINX where I stayed for over 2 years...and again was amazed. When I left there it was HARD to do. Even though I knew it was right. The CEO didn't like me for any number of reasons...and I was underpaid. So then I started at UniteU. The first three months I HATED it. I kept trying to go BACK to 5LINX...I was a s...