Friends...and what it means to have them...

Friends...and what it means to have them...
 
Growing up I found myself ALWAYS obsessed with friendships...making them...and at times...using them for my own amusement.
 
I remember this one friend...who's name I CAN'T remember.  When we were kids my sister and I would go up to the Wood Library everyday after school.  I forget WHY we did it...but if I remember correctly it had something to do with my Mom working nights and so we'd go there till Dad would drive by and pick us up...and take us home for dinner around 4:00.
 
One day...we saw that there was a neighbor NEXT DOOR to the library...and he had this KICKING playground set...with a 'treehouse' of sorts and other stuff.  Oh man did I want to play in that...So...I decided "Ok...I need to make friends with this kid so that I can play with his toys and thereby make them (by extension) my own.".  So I went over with my sister and we did make friends with them.  I'll admit I don't think we were the BEST of friends...mainly because I can't remember his name to this day (and I remember a LOT of things)...but I do remember how I was thinking.  The fact is...the kid didn't matter to me...only what he had.  
 
What a lousy person I could be as a kid...
 
I find myself wondering though...do we as adults now ever grow out of that?  I'd like to think I did...but there are times I wonder what I give my friends compared to what they give me.  
 
I've been told recently that I'm not the most 'engaging' of personalities.  I don't know why...I'd like to say it was a defense mechanism for years of feeling insecure and unliked...but I don't think so.  I think as I matured in CA and even a little in Ossie...I continued to see friends as commodities and not REALLY for what I can bring them and how they enriched my life and experiences.  The best memories I have in LIFE from those times...not ONE of them were of me by myself.  The shows, late night talks, swimming in Lake Ontario during a thunderstorm with a buddy who just got his heart ripped out, watching my wife come down the aisle and so many more...I was never alone.
 
I don't think I had this GRAND epiphony recently...but I think over time I've come to realize that my friends are NOT commodities...that they're actually FRIENDS.  I once had someone on my FB say that if you have over 200 friends on Facebook...you're a friend collector.  It made me think...(and really was the impetus for this post)...am I a friend collector?  So I started looking through my list.  Yes there are some in there who I DON'T have a relationship with today...and there are some I barely know (most of those types are from church where I help lead worship...so I accepted to be available to them)...but there isn't one person in my friend's list that I can't pull SOME memory out of my head and recite verbatim.  
 
That...truly blessed me.  Cause somewhere between making friends with a kid for no other reason than to "squat" his treehouse...to today; without me even noticing I realized what friends are truly for.  
 
They're for me to help, listen to and get involved with when they want/need me.  To congratulate during the good times.  To listen to during the bad.  IN a way...it's a contract that says "I will be there for YOU...even if you're unable to be there for me".  
 
So that's what I'm saying today.  If you're seeing/reading this...odds are good you're a friend of mine.  Someone who I hope I made laugh, or at least smile.  Maybe someone at one time I pissed off royally but 'friended' anyway because I had an impact on you in some way...or maybe you're just someone who sees my fat tookus on stage regularly at church and want to get to know me better...in any event...I want to thank you.  Most of you reading this have impacted me in SO many ways.  Your patience at my 'naivete', your ability to look past my idiot moments for what they are, and ability to make me feel loved are inspiring.  So I thank you for that...and as always...
 
Thanks for reading...
 

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