A LIFE LOST THAT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. RIP Dr. Exline.

A man who changed my life forever…is gone. 

He wasn’t alone of course.  I imagine that he was part of a committee that ‘chose’ me…and once I got to be a part of the department, it was a team of people that made an impact…but this man was the one who was the ‘face’ and ‘voice’ of that decision, and he passed this weekend.

Dr. Jerry Exline was the Music Department chairman at SUNY Oswego in 1992.  At first he was this ‘disembodied’ deep baritone of a voice that somehow could speak faster than the Micro Machine man once you got him going.  He had spoken to me several times by phone over the spring summer and Fall of 1992, and became an actual ‘force’ in my life in the winter of 1993.  Now he’s gone and I find myself reliving that time…and thankful for him.

Some history

I’ve spoken before of how ‘lost’ I felt in High School sometimes.  While I may have had friends and a community I belonged with…for some reason I didn’t FEEL that way.  No doubt my crippling social anxiety coupled with my incredible social ineptitude didn’t help things, however I’d always said throughout high school that I was gonna go away to college. 

My grades weren’t stellar by any stretch.  I was a solid B/C student.  Good in math, music and English, bad in foreign language and sciences.  I got a 1300 on my SAT’s though…that helped. 

I applied to a few schools but for a number of reasons (which I may write about someday)…Oswego was my first choice.  Geneseo felt too close to home (and I knew a few people going there) and Plattsburgh felt too far away (and a friend I was going there to see was transferring TO Oswego). 

Oswego had a good education/writing program which is what I thought I wanted to do, so I was excited.  I sent out my application to Oswego and Geneseo.  Both schools wrote back asking for more information and an audition tape.  I had mentioned I was a singer, so they wanted to hear me.  I recorded two songs (Stars from Les Miserables and “If” by Bread…(no judging)). I sent both off to Oswego, but I don't think I mailed one to Geneseo.

Geneseo was going to wait list me.  I probably would have gotten in, but I was still disappointed.  I still hadn’t heard from Oswego until one day my phone rang.  My Mom told me it was someone from Oswego.  I picked up the phone and this booming voice came through. 

“Hello is this William Benson Jr?”

I tried to not sound so excited, but I corrected him.  “Yes, this is Bill Benson…”

It’s funny cause I never knew how this conversation would change my life…without missing a beat the caller introduced himself. 

“Bill, this is Dr. Jerry Exline.  I’m the chairman of the music department here at SUNY Oswego and we just heard the tape you sent us and have some questions.  Do you have a few minutes?”

With that…we were off.  He asked me about the tape.  Did I play any instruments on it (I didn’t…I used the accompaniment tapes my Choir Director Mr. Ford lent me and my sister’s karaoke machine).  Then he asked about my experience in music.  I told him about how I’d been singing since 10^th Grade, that my Dad was a musician, that I could sorta play drums, but wasn’t very good.  That I’d marched Drum Corps (which we spoke of a bit) and that I’d made All County, Area All-State and was 1 point away from being considered for All-State (the judge dinged me on stylistic interpretation of “The Vagabond”.  To this day I hope that guy developed a skin condition that made him remarkably uncomfortable for at least 4 minutes of his every day.

He told me how impressed he was with the fact I’d chosen two such different pieces, asked if I thought of myself as a tenor or bass, and what role I felt music would play in my life.  He told me he thought I had incredible skill, but it sounded raw and he’d love to get the chance to ‘see it tempered with the exceptional staff we have here at SUNY Oswego’.  (He literally mentioned the words SUNY Oswego like 125000 times in that call I think.  I feel like I should have found some way to make a drinking game out of it, but I neither drank nor knew what drinking games were back then...but I digress)

He went on to talk about the music department.  How they had a great vocal instructor named Leon Carpetyan, that there were chances to perform with many vocal ensembles and he’d love to see me join a few if I were accepted.

We ended the conversation with some more chit chat and he said “I’m sure you’ll be getting a letter from us soon.  I hope to see you next fall Bill Benson.  Have a great day.”

And he hung up.

About a week later I got a letter from Oswego.  My Mom called the school and when I talked to her she said that it was a ‘thick one’ and I rushed home to get it.  I opened it and it was my acceptance.  No ‘wait-list’, just a full acceptance to my first choice.

It even said in the information…”The music department has assisted your acceptance”.

I was floored. 

Of course my Dad wondered if there was a scholarship associated with that…and if I had to be a music major because I think he was worried about what I'd do if I had a music degree...so I called Dr. Exline again.

“Ah, Bill, how are you today?  Did you get our letter?”

“I sure did.  Thank you Dr. Exline, but it said the music department assisted my acceptance.  Does that mean I have to be a music major?  Is there a scholarship attached?”

He gave one of those laughs.  Dr. Exline had this 'belly laugh' thing.  It was booming.  

“No no no.  Well of course we’d LOVE (big extension on that word) it if you decided to be a music major, but you don’t have to be.  We just really enjoyed the tape and it’s our hope that you would at least join a choir or two perhaps or take studio voice lessons…get involved in our department.  Also there is no scholarship money this year, but if you excel you never know.”

We talked a bit more and I told him I’d see him in the fall.

Of course...by mid-summer it became clear that money was too tight and I wasn't ready yet...so I'd have to put off college by a semester.  Dr. Exline and I spoke a few times and he gave some great advice about grants etc.  We spoke before the holidays and I told him I'd be coming in January.  I was excited.

When I showed up in the spring semester of 93, I signed up for college choir, and two music classes (101 and Music Theatre Workshop).  Over the course of that semester, Dr. Exline and I spoke a few times.  He always knew my name.  Even though by that point, I’d started calling myself Will…he’d always call me Bill and I'll be honest...I don't think I EVER thought of correcting him.  Even during the reunion in 2007, I couldn’t get him to call me Will.  It just became something of a running joke. 

It wasn’t long after I arrived that in fact I did start pursuing the music major.  Though I always wanted to write, the department that was built during that time was something special.  It didn’t take long for me to see that and I knew I wanted to be a part of that.  I don’t think any of us there at the time knew what a special and magical time it would turn out to be. 

The friends and ‘framily’ I made in my time there are important to me even today.  I married one of them…our wedding was a mini-reunion and this past summer when we lost one of our own to cancer…we all marveled at the department that was built in that time and how special it was.  I don’t know if he intended it that way, but I choose to think he did. 

In some ways, I often wonder if our time there might have been some grand experiment of his.  Like instead of choosing the best musicians or students…he seemed to be trying to build the best department from the middle of the road.  Like he wanted to see if a group of B average students that may have a tougher time getting into a university; could make something magical and thereby elevate us to something well above average. 

In our case…it seemed to work.  I wasn’t the only male singer in the department and yet…I was always more eager to sing with someone like Noah or Carlos or Jeff or Chris or Keith as opposed to finding some way to outshine them.  Like somehow if we were all working something together…we’d make it so much better than we ever could do alone.    I remember when my friend Noah left us for one semester to go to Fredonia.  He couldn’t wait to get back.  Not because he couldn’t hack it (Noah is still one of THE<period>ABSOLUTE<period>MALE<period>VOCALISTS<period>I’VE<period>EVER<period>HEARD!), but because while he could ‘hang’ with the more elite singers/students at this school designed for music…he found himself having less fun and missing the collaborative environment that Jerry Exline encouraged his professors to bring to this department. 

It was during the zoom call we had earlier this year celebrating the life of Jeff Thomas where a lot of us had first heard that Dr. Exline was sick.  I remember the feeling of incredible sadness.  We all knew we owed so much to him for bringing us all together and ‘taking a chance’ on all of us, and now the idea that he was slowly deteriorating made my wife and I both incredibly sad.  To hear of his passing yesterday even moreso. 

It would be an exercise in futility to look at the life I have today, the wife I have, the kids I’m fortunate to help ‘raise’ and the many friends and ‘framily’ I’ve kept close to these past thirty years without finding some way to honor this wonderful man.  My life wouldn’t be half as amazing as it is without his presence and I found myself thanking God this morning on the way to work for putting him in my life so that I could be where I am now. 

Thank you Dr. Exline for ‘assisting my acceptance’ into an institute of higher learning and giving me the wonderful life, memories and friends I’ve always wanted.  I pray your soul knows peace and that somewhere you’re making music, shaking your head around and making people laugh at how funny your hair looks afterward.  You were an amazing man and I’m glad you were on this Earth.

Thanks for reading;