One year ago...the dinner that wasn't supposed to happen...but blessed my socks off.
I had come home from my first day in a retail job. I was sad...miserable. I had just moved home from my own apartment...moving back in with my parents when I'm 38 years old. I was going through a separation from my wife...I was as low as could be. Self respect was something I used to envision as a goal to be aspire to achieve again because I hadn't had it in what felt like forever.
However it was November 11. Not only that...but November 11, 2012. 40 years after Mom and Dad had said vows to each other becoming the one unit that contained the TWO most important people of my life. This was a day of celebration.
I came home from work resigned to smiling and celebrating. They were going to go to a nice dinner. They'd rejected invitations from sisters and brothers, my sister, even me to go to dinner with them and they said repeatedly that they wanted to go to dinner alone as a couple that night. I was excited for them...but as this was my literal first day working for 11 dollars an hour part time in a job requiring a blue polo shirt...I was feeling pretty low. But I put a fake smile on anyway as I opened the door to shouts for the dog to shut up until she heard my voice.
I smiled...I joked...I said my first day was great and that I wanted them to bring me back a steak from the Red Osier. Mom promised they would. I went to my room and shut my door and just kinda felt blah...I figured I pulled it off. I managed to make them think I was ok when I pretty much felt like crap. My plan consisted of the usual 'lay on my bed...pet the dog...try to call Deb...get rejected...feel like crap...lay on my bed hating myself more until I got to go to work the next day..."...my depression cycle of the 4q of 2012.
Imagine my surprise when my father knocked and said "What did you want again?" I repeated my order. "Yeah...we're not gonna be able to do that. I think you're just going to have to come with us. Get dressed."
I argued with Dad. I reminded him he told others they couldn't go. I'm coming down the hallway putting on a shirt and mom goes..."Will...this is our 40th anniversary and we want you to come with us. It's up to us on who gets to go...and we want you to. Now get dressed. We're gonna be late.".
Mom had that tone to her. The ones Moms get that no matter how old you got said 'this conversation is finished'.
I went up the hall and finished getting dressed. We got in the car and spoke the whole way there. It was decided to keep others feelings from being hurt...we wouldn't tell anyone I went. It'd be easy. We wouldn't lie...just not mention me being there.
We got there and had a nice meal. I learned about them. Their marriage. For once I don't remember hogging the conversation. I heard them talk about their early days. They'd laugh...it was great.
We had a good meal and enjoyed it and then a moment that I didn't realize would be significant happen. I saw my parents against the backdrop of the fireplace...Mom in red...Dad in blue...and I saw this picture in my head. I didn't bring my camera but I had my iPhone. I had them get together...and took what we didn't know till later...would be their last picture together outside of a hospital bed.
I loved this picture. I was so proud. I put it up on Facebook before remembering I had to cover...so I said Mom and Dad had someone take a picture of them using an iPhone. A total truth...
We laughed all the way home. Mom and Dad smiling.
They used their last anniversary together to reach out to me...and I was in just the right place to snap a moment that we didn't know...would be a moment I'd never forget. They did it I think because the point of their marriage was always...to be together...but not at the expense of their kids. When faced with a fork in the road...they'd just look around till they found a spoon. My parents are amazing...and their love inspiring.
I miss my mom a ton. I can't believe it's been almost 90 days...but the memories like this...will get me through.
Keep my Dad in your thoughts today. Me and my sister as well. We're in for a tough season...but I know where my Mom is...and though I grieve still...I know that the grieving only means I loved her so.
Thanks for reading...
However it was November 11. Not only that...but November 11, 2012. 40 years after Mom and Dad had said vows to each other becoming the one unit that contained the TWO most important people of my life. This was a day of celebration.
I came home from work resigned to smiling and celebrating. They were going to go to a nice dinner. They'd rejected invitations from sisters and brothers, my sister, even me to go to dinner with them and they said repeatedly that they wanted to go to dinner alone as a couple that night. I was excited for them...but as this was my literal first day working for 11 dollars an hour part time in a job requiring a blue polo shirt...I was feeling pretty low. But I put a fake smile on anyway as I opened the door to shouts for the dog to shut up until she heard my voice.
I smiled...I joked...I said my first day was great and that I wanted them to bring me back a steak from the Red Osier. Mom promised they would. I went to my room and shut my door and just kinda felt blah...I figured I pulled it off. I managed to make them think I was ok when I pretty much felt like crap. My plan consisted of the usual 'lay on my bed...pet the dog...try to call Deb...get rejected...feel like crap...lay on my bed hating myself more until I got to go to work the next day..."...my depression cycle of the 4q of 2012.
Imagine my surprise when my father knocked and said "What did you want again?" I repeated my order. "Yeah...we're not gonna be able to do that. I think you're just going to have to come with us. Get dressed."
I argued with Dad. I reminded him he told others they couldn't go. I'm coming down the hallway putting on a shirt and mom goes..."Will...this is our 40th anniversary and we want you to come with us. It's up to us on who gets to go...and we want you to. Now get dressed. We're gonna be late.".
Mom had that tone to her. The ones Moms get that no matter how old you got said 'this conversation is finished'.
I went up the hall and finished getting dressed. We got in the car and spoke the whole way there. It was decided to keep others feelings from being hurt...we wouldn't tell anyone I went. It'd be easy. We wouldn't lie...just not mention me being there.
We got there and had a nice meal. I learned about them. Their marriage. For once I don't remember hogging the conversation. I heard them talk about their early days. They'd laugh...it was great.
We had a good meal and enjoyed it and then a moment that I didn't realize would be significant happen. I saw my parents against the backdrop of the fireplace...Mom in red...Dad in blue...and I saw this picture in my head. I didn't bring my camera but I had my iPhone. I had them get together...and took what we didn't know till later...would be their last picture together outside of a hospital bed.
I loved this picture. I was so proud. I put it up on Facebook before remembering I had to cover...so I said Mom and Dad had someone take a picture of them using an iPhone. A total truth...
We laughed all the way home. Mom and Dad smiling.
They used their last anniversary together to reach out to me...and I was in just the right place to snap a moment that we didn't know...would be a moment I'd never forget. They did it I think because the point of their marriage was always...to be together...but not at the expense of their kids. When faced with a fork in the road...they'd just look around till they found a spoon. My parents are amazing...and their love inspiring.
I miss my mom a ton. I can't believe it's been almost 90 days...but the memories like this...will get me through.
Keep my Dad in your thoughts today. Me and my sister as well. We're in for a tough season...but I know where my Mom is...and though I grieve still...I know that the grieving only means I loved her so.
Thanks for reading...
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