Remembering 9/11 - from a nobody. (some explicit language) :)
I know. I'm hopping on the bandwagon. It's hard not to. September 11, 2001 changed our entire way of life. Even though we've 'lost' some of what we learned that day...its ripple effects can still be felt in today's society all around us. From when we travel, to how we interact with members of arab races, to how we feel about the media (and coverage of tragedies) and to our level of trust in our leadership. September 11, 2001 has resonated with all of us since that day and nothing has been the same...so writing about it is...to me at least, a no-brainer.
I can remember every part of that day. I was working in Building 111 at Xerox in Webster. I was a Systems Administrator for a development environment. I hated the gig. I didn't like the people I was working with too much and felt a bit 'in over my head'...but had gone 'all in' on the job and with my wedding coming up in 6 months...I knew I had to make a go of it. I didn't fit in the job...but I did try my best. Granted my contract was terminated a month later...due to budgetary issues...but I wasn't surprised. Again I didn't fit.
I remember hearing people in the 'break room' talking about planes and NY and the towers and when I heard them saying things like "attack' and 'not an accident' I stood up and went over to see what was happening. I remember coming around the corner and seeing the TV with tower 1 on fire. The image is embedded in my mind and I put the former snippets of converstation together in my head and came to the conclusion that I must have 'misheard'. It was weird those first 20 minutes...when we all kinda allowed ourselves to believe that MAYBE it was really an accident. That it couldn't have been planned. I was watching the TV as the other 4 people in the room were all kibbitzing and talking and was the one to say it when I saw the other plane flying to the tower. I said 'Holy shit...this isn't an accident...LOOK!'. The room went silent as the other people turned their heads back to the TV and the horror set in on us all. We didn't say a word.
In that moment the world changed. I got this overwhelming urge to call my fiance. She was traveling to Syracuse for work. I kept trying to reach her but the phones were down. In those minutes NOTHING was off the table. What if they went for Syracuse. I remember sitting in my cubicle...praying. I knew the odds were good she was all right...but I still was worried.
In the weeks that followed...things got back to normal. I got married to Debi in February of 02. We lived our lives...and things seemed normal.
So now it's ten years later. I myself have never forgotten. I remember watching the documentary 9/11 in 2002...about the two french brothers embedded in Engine 7, ladder 1 a few blocks from Ground Zero. They were there to make a movie about a rookie firefighter becoming a man through the normal 'plebe' process. In truth...it's a documentary that would have probably one day been shown on HBO "America Undercover"...making a small amount of money but being one of those 'special interest' documentaries that would probably appeal to firefighters only. Little did they know that by embedding themselves with THAT engine...they'd be in a position to record some of the most powerful footage of the attacks in NYC. As far as I know...theirs is the only 'quality' footage of flight 11 flying into the ninety-something floor of tower 1. The incredible reaction by the firefighters is etched in my mind. They were doing a routine 'gas smell' call...and when the plane hits you hear them dropping S-bombs and then saying 'We gotta go'. From then on the film follows the one brother who is with the chief of engine 7 and the management of the rescue operations from the main floor. The footage is inspiring in some ways as you watch men...who stopped noticing the camera coming to terms with the idea that they are in over their heads. Knowing they may not make it out. Hearing the sound of people landing on the roof of the lobby who 'jumped'. It's gripping. I found myself hoping. Hoping like I did the first time I saw titanic...hoping like I did watching Red Dawn or Towering Inferno. Hoping that the tragedy that you KNOW is going to come...somehow this time doesn't. That the story ends happily...that everything is fine and that this version of the movie shows you the 'what if' story. However this isn't a movie...it's real life...and when tower 2 crumbles after an hour...we as a viewer are watching it in the first person from someone in the lobby of tower 1. How the darkness envelops the camera. How you lose the daylight in the most beautiful of days only to see it become tragic. The desperation in their voices when the cheif gives the 'evac' order...telling those who had run only 30 floors in 1 hour to come back down NOW and get out. The other brother is outside the tower. He's trying to get to his brother...but he knows his brother is in one of the buildings with the other firemen. He comes to grips with the loss of his brother. The story is AMAZING. Especially given that that particular firehouse lost NO ONE on 9/11. It was a gripping story and resonated for years with me. I've seen it twice since then (once last year and then last night as CBS rebroadcast it). CBS' broadcast last night went a bit further. They followed up with the ladder and seeing what happened to these men who responded...how though they survived that DAY...some have not lived since. The men they showed were broken in some ways...stronger in other. They've lost other brothers as it has come to light that 'the pile' that firefighters worked in tirelessly immediately following the attacks has resulted in them breathing in toxic chemicals. Two of their men died from strange cancers. The filmmakers TAKE a stance...that the government KNEW...and it's obvious. I for one WELCOME that. A documentary is SUPPOSED to be an opinion piece (something many forget about with Michael Moore...I don't agree with him...but I respect that he has an opinion and makes a movie based on it)...and these men who did nothing more that day than CHRONICLE the events...finally showed their hearts. Of course...even if the government had said 'it's toxic. You can get cancer and die in ten years'...I doubt it would have stopped ONE firefighter from trying to find survivors and remains. That's who these men are...real life super heroes. I agree with the filmmakers however...that it's time for the government to admit their mistake...and at the very least...CARE FOR AND MAKE COMFORTABLE these men who though they didn't die that day...may have given all for us anyway.
If you haven't seen the film 9/11...I recommend you find it. It's hard to watch...it's tragic...but it's done in such a way that it HONORS those who have fallen.
I have my own thoughts I've shared with a few on why a world with a loving God on the throne would allow a tragedy of September 11 to happen. Suffice it to say I don't believe it's a 'judgment' on the world. However I wouldn't try to write those thoughts in a public forum like this either for fear of misinterpretation. Suffice it to say I believe God has a plan and that we are seeing it playing out before our eyes...and that those deaths were FELT AND MOURNED by God that day as they were by us.
I hate that 9/11 happened. I knew someone in tower 1. I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends...but he is someone I shared a stage with for two years in various groups during my college years. He was a good man and I'm sad to think that the last memories I have of him are the LAST memories I'll have of him (as I've recently begun reconnecting with other friends from school in recent years). I didn't even know he was in tower 1 until September 11, 2002. When they broadcast the cermony which read every name of the people who died in the towers...I heard his name and looked up from my computer screen (I was looking for a job) and saw his picture. In that moment something that was already a real event...became a reality. In the years since I've quietly remembered him...and prayed for his family. Scott was his name.
As we move on from the ten year anniversary...it's my hope that we as a nation, a people and a family remember and learn from that memory. That we allow the changes that need to be made to be made in both how we think and in how we react to those thoughts. It's wrong for us to blame all of the Islamic community for the actions of those who claim to represent them by killing in their god's name. However it's also wrong of us to pretend that there are Islamic extremists seeking to kill us. Submitting an old 90 year old irish lady to practically a strip-search while letting someone who has traits like those of the men who attacked us walk unencumbered through an airport in the name of racial tolerance is wrong. It's allowing political pressures to dictate common-sense. I don't think we need to strip search every arab american who wishes to fly to Hawaii...but I do believe that observing and unobtrusive monitoring is warranted. I know speaking for myself that if the FAA wanted to investigate me because they got word of an Northern Irish terrorist plot and I have blue eyes...I am fine with that so long as they catch the REAL bad guy.
Maybe that's just me...
9/11 changed our world...and it's something that needs to be honored and remembered. I personally believe the bible...and I know it'll get worse. I know that one day however...Evil WILL no longer be associated with the human condition. That through Christ...evil will fall and sin will be removed from me and those I love. That's the hope I have today...and that's what I can't help thinking about.
Thanks for reading;
I can remember every part of that day. I was working in Building 111 at Xerox in Webster. I was a Systems Administrator for a development environment. I hated the gig. I didn't like the people I was working with too much and felt a bit 'in over my head'...but had gone 'all in' on the job and with my wedding coming up in 6 months...I knew I had to make a go of it. I didn't fit in the job...but I did try my best. Granted my contract was terminated a month later...due to budgetary issues...but I wasn't surprised. Again I didn't fit.
I remember hearing people in the 'break room' talking about planes and NY and the towers and when I heard them saying things like "attack' and 'not an accident' I stood up and went over to see what was happening. I remember coming around the corner and seeing the TV with tower 1 on fire. The image is embedded in my mind and I put the former snippets of converstation together in my head and came to the conclusion that I must have 'misheard'. It was weird those first 20 minutes...when we all kinda allowed ourselves to believe that MAYBE it was really an accident. That it couldn't have been planned. I was watching the TV as the other 4 people in the room were all kibbitzing and talking and was the one to say it when I saw the other plane flying to the tower. I said 'Holy shit...this isn't an accident...LOOK!'. The room went silent as the other people turned their heads back to the TV and the horror set in on us all. We didn't say a word.
In that moment the world changed. I got this overwhelming urge to call my fiance. She was traveling to Syracuse for work. I kept trying to reach her but the phones were down. In those minutes NOTHING was off the table. What if they went for Syracuse. I remember sitting in my cubicle...praying. I knew the odds were good she was all right...but I still was worried.
In the weeks that followed...things got back to normal. I got married to Debi in February of 02. We lived our lives...and things seemed normal.
So now it's ten years later. I myself have never forgotten. I remember watching the documentary 9/11 in 2002...about the two french brothers embedded in Engine 7, ladder 1 a few blocks from Ground Zero. They were there to make a movie about a rookie firefighter becoming a man through the normal 'plebe' process. In truth...it's a documentary that would have probably one day been shown on HBO "America Undercover"...making a small amount of money but being one of those 'special interest' documentaries that would probably appeal to firefighters only. Little did they know that by embedding themselves with THAT engine...they'd be in a position to record some of the most powerful footage of the attacks in NYC. As far as I know...theirs is the only 'quality' footage of flight 11 flying into the ninety-something floor of tower 1. The incredible reaction by the firefighters is etched in my mind. They were doing a routine 'gas smell' call...and when the plane hits you hear them dropping S-bombs and then saying 'We gotta go'. From then on the film follows the one brother who is with the chief of engine 7 and the management of the rescue operations from the main floor. The footage is inspiring in some ways as you watch men...who stopped noticing the camera coming to terms with the idea that they are in over their heads. Knowing they may not make it out. Hearing the sound of people landing on the roof of the lobby who 'jumped'. It's gripping. I found myself hoping. Hoping like I did the first time I saw titanic...hoping like I did watching Red Dawn or Towering Inferno. Hoping that the tragedy that you KNOW is going to come...somehow this time doesn't. That the story ends happily...that everything is fine and that this version of the movie shows you the 'what if' story. However this isn't a movie...it's real life...and when tower 2 crumbles after an hour...we as a viewer are watching it in the first person from someone in the lobby of tower 1. How the darkness envelops the camera. How you lose the daylight in the most beautiful of days only to see it become tragic. The desperation in their voices when the cheif gives the 'evac' order...telling those who had run only 30 floors in 1 hour to come back down NOW and get out. The other brother is outside the tower. He's trying to get to his brother...but he knows his brother is in one of the buildings with the other firemen. He comes to grips with the loss of his brother. The story is AMAZING. Especially given that that particular firehouse lost NO ONE on 9/11. It was a gripping story and resonated for years with me. I've seen it twice since then (once last year and then last night as CBS rebroadcast it). CBS' broadcast last night went a bit further. They followed up with the ladder and seeing what happened to these men who responded...how though they survived that DAY...some have not lived since. The men they showed were broken in some ways...stronger in other. They've lost other brothers as it has come to light that 'the pile' that firefighters worked in tirelessly immediately following the attacks has resulted in them breathing in toxic chemicals. Two of their men died from strange cancers. The filmmakers TAKE a stance...that the government KNEW...and it's obvious. I for one WELCOME that. A documentary is SUPPOSED to be an opinion piece (something many forget about with Michael Moore...I don't agree with him...but I respect that he has an opinion and makes a movie based on it)...and these men who did nothing more that day than CHRONICLE the events...finally showed their hearts. Of course...even if the government had said 'it's toxic. You can get cancer and die in ten years'...I doubt it would have stopped ONE firefighter from trying to find survivors and remains. That's who these men are...real life super heroes. I agree with the filmmakers however...that it's time for the government to admit their mistake...and at the very least...CARE FOR AND MAKE COMFORTABLE these men who though they didn't die that day...may have given all for us anyway.
If you haven't seen the film 9/11...I recommend you find it. It's hard to watch...it's tragic...but it's done in such a way that it HONORS those who have fallen.
I have my own thoughts I've shared with a few on why a world with a loving God on the throne would allow a tragedy of September 11 to happen. Suffice it to say I don't believe it's a 'judgment' on the world. However I wouldn't try to write those thoughts in a public forum like this either for fear of misinterpretation. Suffice it to say I believe God has a plan and that we are seeing it playing out before our eyes...and that those deaths were FELT AND MOURNED by God that day as they were by us.
I hate that 9/11 happened. I knew someone in tower 1. I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends...but he is someone I shared a stage with for two years in various groups during my college years. He was a good man and I'm sad to think that the last memories I have of him are the LAST memories I'll have of him (as I've recently begun reconnecting with other friends from school in recent years). I didn't even know he was in tower 1 until September 11, 2002. When they broadcast the cermony which read every name of the people who died in the towers...I heard his name and looked up from my computer screen (I was looking for a job) and saw his picture. In that moment something that was already a real event...became a reality. In the years since I've quietly remembered him...and prayed for his family. Scott was his name.
As we move on from the ten year anniversary...it's my hope that we as a nation, a people and a family remember and learn from that memory. That we allow the changes that need to be made to be made in both how we think and in how we react to those thoughts. It's wrong for us to blame all of the Islamic community for the actions of those who claim to represent them by killing in their god's name. However it's also wrong of us to pretend that there are Islamic extremists seeking to kill us. Submitting an old 90 year old irish lady to practically a strip-search while letting someone who has traits like those of the men who attacked us walk unencumbered through an airport in the name of racial tolerance is wrong. It's allowing political pressures to dictate common-sense. I don't think we need to strip search every arab american who wishes to fly to Hawaii...but I do believe that observing and unobtrusive monitoring is warranted. I know speaking for myself that if the FAA wanted to investigate me because they got word of an Northern Irish terrorist plot and I have blue eyes...I am fine with that so long as they catch the REAL bad guy.
Maybe that's just me...
9/11 changed our world...and it's something that needs to be honored and remembered. I personally believe the bible...and I know it'll get worse. I know that one day however...Evil WILL no longer be associated with the human condition. That through Christ...evil will fall and sin will be removed from me and those I love. That's the hope I have today...and that's what I can't help thinking about.
Thanks for reading;
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