Chess as a life lesson...losing has value.
I recently got back into playing Chess. My Dad just got an iPhone and we've had a few games going of 'Chess with Friends' (A great app...turn based so you make a move and wait for the next person to make theirs). It got me thinking though about life and us as Americans.
In this current game I'm playing...I'm pretty screwed. Pop's got both his knights and one rook still out there with 5 pawns and I have 1 knight and 5 pawns. He's got me mated in probably less than 4 moves at this point...so I ask myself..."why am I still playing?"
I realized why right away...and it's what I see wrong in society today. Most people have become afraid to lose.
I see it more with today's kids. I think in this super stimulated, video game, blu-ray internet age...kids have become less active then they were...and it seems that education has moved to a system that seems to hold mediocrity and success as equal. We give all the kids awards. Some teams stopped keeping score in younger leagues and we've begun this process of saying 'it's not important you win...just that you were there'. While that's a noble sentiment...it isn't how life is working out...and I think some of the problems we have today are a direct result of that mindset.
However...by rewarding mediocrity...we've devalued winning and we've also avoided losing. By refusing to keep score, or by rewarding the kid who gets a C the same as we would the kid who gets an A, or the kid who comes in dead last in the race with the same medal as the kid who won the race around the track...we're saying that the race and the game and all of it is pointless busywork designed to do nothing but keep your brain occupied for a moment with something other than a video game. Again...noble idea (not just letting them veg out...) but not preparing them. Also by avoiding the idea of LOSING we're removing a KEY motivator in the human psyche. The idea that losing SUCKS and if you don't want to experience it again...do better.
Through my youth I had lots of losses. I wasn't a very athletic kid. I remember going out for basketball my 8th grade year to impress a girl and cause one of my best friends was playing. I had NO BUSINESS being out there. I was TERRIBLE. No coordination...nothing. But I was on the team. Then Coach Pierce called me into his office one day and told me that he thought I may want to try something else. There was no doubt in his mind I was gonna ride the bench. He couldn't play me. I'd be frustrated and he saw how the other guys were hacking on me a bit. I took his advise and decided against playing. I really wasn't enjoying it...but it taught me something (besides that I suck at basketball)...it taught me to look at WHY I was doing something...and to make sure I wasn't wasting time. By losing (my place) on the team...I learned not to do something unless I was sure I really wanted it. Coach could have just let me ride the bench. Put me in when we're way up to make me feel better. He didn't though. He respected me enough to 'level with me'...and in that I always had a respect and admiration for him.
The thing about losing too...is it CAN inspire you to better yourself. Back in the 80's the 'presidential patch' for Physical fitness was a sorta big deal (at least to me). I saw a lot of my class getting them and I tended not to (again...VERY bad athlete). So in high school...every year it kinda became a goal. One I didn't tell anyone about really except Mrs. LaBarge (my advanced PE teacher in 11th Grade)...and every year I worked on one aspect of it. I got healthier and was able to run pretty well, swam for most of high school (though I did quit my junior year to do Damn Yankees) and overall just was an active teen. I never did make the score needed to get the patch (I was always weak in the arms)...but I didn't care when I left as I saw the quest had value I guess.
So now I'm playing my Dad at chess...and he pretty much has me beat. When he beats me...he'll hit 'rematch' and I'll play him again...and I'll do better (as I actually beat him our last game)...and maybe I'll beat him again. Maybe not...but there's value in seeing that you've probably lost and in finishing the game the best you can...and you only start to realize that when you actually LET yourself lose.
Thanks for reading...
In this current game I'm playing...I'm pretty screwed. Pop's got both his knights and one rook still out there with 5 pawns and I have 1 knight and 5 pawns. He's got me mated in probably less than 4 moves at this point...so I ask myself..."why am I still playing?"
I realized why right away...and it's what I see wrong in society today. Most people have become afraid to lose.
I see it more with today's kids. I think in this super stimulated, video game, blu-ray internet age...kids have become less active then they were...and it seems that education has moved to a system that seems to hold mediocrity and success as equal. We give all the kids awards. Some teams stopped keeping score in younger leagues and we've begun this process of saying 'it's not important you win...just that you were there'. While that's a noble sentiment...it isn't how life is working out...and I think some of the problems we have today are a direct result of that mindset.
However...by rewarding mediocrity...we've devalued winning and we've also avoided losing. By refusing to keep score, or by rewarding the kid who gets a C the same as we would the kid who gets an A, or the kid who comes in dead last in the race with the same medal as the kid who won the race around the track...we're saying that the race and the game and all of it is pointless busywork designed to do nothing but keep your brain occupied for a moment with something other than a video game. Again...noble idea (not just letting them veg out...) but not preparing them. Also by avoiding the idea of LOSING we're removing a KEY motivator in the human psyche. The idea that losing SUCKS and if you don't want to experience it again...do better.
Through my youth I had lots of losses. I wasn't a very athletic kid. I remember going out for basketball my 8th grade year to impress a girl and cause one of my best friends was playing. I had NO BUSINESS being out there. I was TERRIBLE. No coordination...nothing. But I was on the team. Then Coach Pierce called me into his office one day and told me that he thought I may want to try something else. There was no doubt in his mind I was gonna ride the bench. He couldn't play me. I'd be frustrated and he saw how the other guys were hacking on me a bit. I took his advise and decided against playing. I really wasn't enjoying it...but it taught me something (besides that I suck at basketball)...it taught me to look at WHY I was doing something...and to make sure I wasn't wasting time. By losing (my place) on the team...I learned not to do something unless I was sure I really wanted it. Coach could have just let me ride the bench. Put me in when we're way up to make me feel better. He didn't though. He respected me enough to 'level with me'...and in that I always had a respect and admiration for him.
The thing about losing too...is it CAN inspire you to better yourself. Back in the 80's the 'presidential patch' for Physical fitness was a sorta big deal (at least to me). I saw a lot of my class getting them and I tended not to (again...VERY bad athlete). So in high school...every year it kinda became a goal. One I didn't tell anyone about really except Mrs. LaBarge (my advanced PE teacher in 11th Grade)...and every year I worked on one aspect of it. I got healthier and was able to run pretty well, swam for most of high school (though I did quit my junior year to do Damn Yankees) and overall just was an active teen. I never did make the score needed to get the patch (I was always weak in the arms)...but I didn't care when I left as I saw the quest had value I guess.
So now I'm playing my Dad at chess...and he pretty much has me beat. When he beats me...he'll hit 'rematch' and I'll play him again...and I'll do better (as I actually beat him our last game)...and maybe I'll beat him again. Maybe not...but there's value in seeing that you've probably lost and in finishing the game the best you can...and you only start to realize that when you actually LET yourself lose.
Thanks for reading...
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