Ramblings, Incoherent Thought and Family

Wow... Say it backwards...Wow. Say it upsidedown...Mom. I've always said that saying...sometimes I'd alter it to say 'say it sideways...'Equal Opportunity Employer' say it sideways backward 'Sigma Omicron Sigma'...you get the idea. But it never struck me how appropriate the first two parts are in a situation. My cousin...probably one of the closest men I'll have to having a blood brother...we grew up together...and were tight all through the years...even as we've obviously gotten our own lives in the last decade or so...we are tight. My cousin lost his Mom. My former Aunt-in-law...and for the life of me I couldn't imagine being him. See I know in my heart of hearts that that's REALLY why I'm here. We exist because our parents wanted to leave a legacy. To have children and to in some ways carry on the traditions they were handed. Our role is to outlive our parents. On a cerebral level I get that. Yet for all that...I can't help feeling...

It's kinda weird. When I was 17...I couldn't WAIT to get out of Canandaigua. As you no doubt have read previously...I was an awkward kinda kid. Just didn't seem to fit (or actually...I'm realizing that was in most cases that perception was in my head and believe it or not I chalk it up to pride...but more on that later) and so I just seemed to look forward to being able to hit 'reset' when I went to college and while I had friends and people I ran (or in other words...glommed onto like a barnicle) with...I tended to feel like I was a loner type of person. However...in the last few years...with the adoption of Facebook I've spent quite a bit of time reconnecting and getting together with old high school people. I actually find myself looking forward to seeing them, finding out what they're doing and just having some laughs. Usually at least once a year someone will have a picnic and this year the class of 91 (the one before my graduating class) had their ...